An extremely ‘raw’ piece exposing the complexities of choice and its consequences


Life-changing choice taken moons ago

thrusting onto unfamiliar course

Fully emptied out, desire sabotaged,

from long-term associates withdrawn.

Performance ineffective, divine endorsement gone,

hopes of making difference eviscerated.

While an integrity challenge proved to be

a final straw to break his camel back


Confiding distress to trusted friends,

serious disquiets raised, with foreboding.

And prevailing with desperation to survive –

self-preservation by escape from lifestyle

of high demand, unsustainable

by character and limited resources –

his priority consciously shifted away

from burning yearning to fulfil divine intent


So veering off on new trajectory he goes,

plan “A” abandoned, plan “B” not entertained,

with ‘humanness’ intact, yet expressed at such high price,

and cognizant of the deep, deep flaws within.

Even now when immersed in legitimate pursuit

bereavement of confidence and purpose

haunts, at unsuspecting moments, with

cascading sadness – like well-laid bandit’s ambush


Knowing no circuitous route remains,

as per the desert wanderings, resigned,

awaiting unknown aftermath of his decision:

repercussions, both temporal and eternal.

Utterly thrown upon unfailing grace,

and  knowing he will meet face to face,

resorts to offer simple, heartfelt prayer

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner.”


From henceforth what will history record ?

“Failure” some may say – a trifle harsh !

More accurately “Lightweight”: who hauling

load unbearable, attempting mission impossible

falls exhausted, out of steam, still far from goal.

Peradventure this tale has educed in you

a negative response, please spare a thought,

utter a prayer, and rain compassion on him