An extremely ‘raw’ piece exposing the complexities of choice and its consequences


Life-changing choice taken moons ago

thrusts now on unfamiliar course

Emptied out, desire sabotaged,

long-term associates withdrawn.

Performance ineffective, divine endorsement gone,

hopes of making difference eviscerated.

Integrity under-mined becomes

final straw to break this camel’s back


Distress: confided to trusted friends,

Disquiets raised, deep forebodings.

Desperation to survive,

self-preservation instinct: escape

high-demanding, unsustainable lifestyle

Through faulty character and limited resources –

priorities consciously shifted away

from yearning to fulfil divine intent


Veering off on new trajectory,

plan “A” abandoned, plan “B” not entertained

humanness intact, yet such high price paid

cognisant of  deep, deep flaws within.

Though immersed in legitimate pursuits

bereft of confidence and purpose

Hauntsed at unsuspecting moments by

a cascading sadness – well-laid bandit’s ambush


Knowing no circuitous route remains,

through desert wanderings, resigned,

waiting unknown aftermath of decision:

repercussions, both temporal and eternal.

Utterly thrown upon unfailing grace,

and  knowing he will meet face to face,

resorts to offer simple, heartfelt prayer

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.”


What will history record henceforth?

“Failure” some may say – a trifle harsh !

More accurately “Lightweight”: hauling

load unbearable, mission impossible

falling exhausted, steam-less, far from goal.

Peradventure this tale has educed in you

a negative response, do spare a thought

utter a prayer, and let compassion reign